What if you stopped rehearsing the worst?

By Team BGP · A short read and a small experiment

You send the message.

Then you read it again. Then you imagine how the other person might read it. Then, for completeness, you review the entire relationship.

The message has been sent for approximately forty seconds.

If that sounds familiar, here’s a question worth sitting with: where does caring end and trying to control the ending begin?

The part that belongs to you.

Consider something small you’re waiting on. A reply, a decision, a plan coming together.

You might be able to clarify what you mean, do your part carefully, or decide when to follow up. Those are actions you can take.

Rehearsing the other person’s response for the nineteenth time feels active, too. Whether it helps is a separate question.

Leave a little space in the ending.

You may notice an urge to finish the story anyway. Perhaps you’re already preparing the perfect reply to an imaginary objection.

There’s no need to scold yourself. You’ve spotted what your attention is doing. That gives you a chance to choose where it goes next.

Maybe back to the task you can actually finish. Maybe outside. Maybe to the person sitting beside you, who has been patiently waiting for you to return from the imaginary conversation.

It can begin with one small distinction: what you can do, and what you can’t yet know.

Nothing mystical required. Though if the kettle boils at that exact moment, you’re welcome to enjoy the timing.